I have a golfing buddy who regularly spends 4 hours complaining about how terribly he is playing, only to score 38 points and win the day. He seems to thrive on it. For the empathetic amongst us this sort of behaviour can be very off-putting. Our sympathy nerve fires up and we want to help our friend out of his predicament, not realising that this is just how he or she is, and no amount of sympathy is going to help. We can question whether these types actually want to be helped.